love. Ahh… They say it makes the world go round and round. But is it? Does it always make us all feel warm and fuzzy? Or does it sometimes cause problems in our relationships?
The answer is both.
We all have a share of relationship issues, especially in romantic ones. And when people tell me, relationships are hard! I always answer. They are not. They are not inherently difficult. It is the people who make them difficult.
What I’m trying to say is that humans are inherently selfish. We all want to win and we want others to understand what we want. Unfortunately, it often leads to two people who don’t understand each other. And because of that, their relationship suffers.
One key to a healthy relationship is understanding the different types of love. Everyone has a different way of giving and receiving love. In addition, some people may experience certain types of love much better than others.
8 Types Of Love According To The Ancient Greeks
The ancient Greeks studied love and classified it into eight types. They studied everything from public speaking to the beginning of the universe. And love is what fascinated them too.
1. Agape – Unconditional Love
First, agape love. This is altruistic, altruistic and unconditional love. The Greeks thought it was very radical, perhaps because few people could feel it in the long run.
Some would describe agape as a kind of spiritual love. For example, Christians believe that Jesus showed this love for everyone. He was altruistic and sacrificed himself so that others could take away their sins. He suffered for the happiness of others. advertising
Eros is named after the Greek god of love and fertility. Therefore, it is usually associated with romantic, passionate, and physical love. It is an expression of sexual passion and desire.
The Greeks were actually quite afraid of this love, strangely enough. Because humans have an instinctive urge to give birth, I thought this love would be so powerful that I would lose control.
The Greeks thought this kind of love was dangerous, but it’s still the kind of love associated with passionate and sexual love. Even in modern times, it is thought that this kind of love burns hot and bright, but it burns quickly.
3. Philia – Affectionate Love
The Greeks defined this kind of love as affectionate love. In other words, it is a kind of love you feel for your friends.
Ironically, the ancient Greeks thought this kind of love was superior to eros (sexual love). Because it symbolized love between those who consider themselves equal.
Although many associate the word love with romance, Plato has always argued that physical attraction is not necessary for love. So there are many different types of love. In particular, this type is often referred to as platonic love, i.e. love without sexual activity.
Philautia is self-love. In modern society, most people associate narcissism with being narcissistic, selfish, or obsessed with oneself. But this is not the self-love that the ancient Greeks meant.
Self-love is not negative or unhealthy in any way. In fact, you should be able to give and receive love to others. We cannot give to others what we do not have. And how can we truly love others if we do not love ourselves?
Another way to see self-love is to think with self-pity. Just as we show affection and love for others, we should show the same affection and love for ourselves. advertising
5. Storge – Familiar Love
Storge can be defined as familiar love. It’s an unfamiliar term, but let me explain what it means.
This type of love is very similar to philia, the affectionate love felt between friends. But this love is close to parent-child love.
Like Philia, there is no physical or sexual attraction. But there is a strong bond, blood ties, and familiarity between people.
6. Pragma – Enduring Love
The ancient Greeks defined pragma as lasting love. In other words, it is almost the opposite of eros (sexuality). Eros tends to burn out quickly because of its passion and intensity. But pragma is love that has matured and developed over a long period of time.
An old couple who have been living together since they were teenagers and holding hands is a good example of pragma. Unfortunately, this kind of love is rather rare, especially in today’s society. These days people seem to think that grass is always greener on the other side. So they don’t have the patience or desire to watch their love grow over time.
This type of love doesn’t require much effort in a relationship. The two are good negotiators and make equal efforts to make each other happy.
7. Ludus – Mischievous Love
Ludus is known for his playful love. But a better way to explain it is the antipathy in the early days of romance. If you’ve been in love before, you know what I’m talking about.
It’s the butterflies in your stomach, the dizziness you feel when you see your love go through the door, and the feeling you never want to be without them.
Research shows that when people experience this type of love, their brains behave very similarly to when they took cocaine. In other words, your brain is literally shining and active like someone on a drug. It makes you feel alive and excited about life. advertising
8. Mania — Obsessive Love
Mania is not necessarily a good type of love because it is obsessive. It is the type of love that can lead someone to madness, jealousy, or even anger. This is because the balance between eros (sexuality) and ludus (toys) is too off-putting.
Many people who experience this type of love suffer from low self-esteem. They are afraid of losing a loved one, and this fear forces them to do something crazy or say something to protect them.
If left uncontrolled mania can be very destructive in some cases.
5 Love Languages
The ancient Greeks weren’t the only ones who studied love. A modern relationship therapist, Dr. Gary Chapman has identified five languages of love through years of marital work. His book, Five Love Languages, provides much more detail.
In a nutshell, Chapman argues that although each of us has different ways of giving and receiving love, they all fall into five categories. And they are:
1. Positive Words
Some people like to hear that I love you or other positive compliments from your partner. And if they don’t listen to it, they may feel unloved.
2. Service Act
Doing good for others is an act of service. Whether it’s changing someone’s oil, cleaning the house, rubbing your back, or doing something that makes other people happy, this is it.
3. Get A Gift
Some people value giving and receiving gifts and others don’t. So, if you measure your partner’s love for how many gifts you have received, your love language is receiving gifts.
4. Quality Time
Others measure the quality of love by how much time a loved one wants to spend together. If you don’t spend enough time together, you may feel unloved. advertising
5. Physical Contact
Finally, some individuals associate love with physical contact. Everything from holding hands to hugging and even having sex is considered physical contact.
Why Is Love Language Important?
The point of learning the love language is to identify the way you give and receive love from your partner. If both of them have very different love languages, it can cause problems in a relationship.
For example, let’s say you always say that you love me and you give me love, but you want to receive a gift to make you feel loved. But your partner wants to show his love through acts of service and feel it along with quality time. Do you see a problem? they don’t match.
But don’t worry. You and your partner don’t have to speak the same love language to get along. Here’s why:
All you have to do is discuss it with your partner. It’s not that hard once you understand how two people want to give and receive.
We are all different and that’s okay. The problems we face in relationships sometimes stem from not fully understanding each other, especially in the realm of love.
Now that you know the ancient Greek type of love and the more modern love language, we hope you can take a good look at your relationship and make the necessary improvements.